Dirty old men, horny old broads and such derogatory terms are enough to tell you how the society views older folks interested in sex. It is illustrative of our youth-oriented society’s discomfort with old people being interested in sex. Ask any random 20-something year old whether they think their grandfather is still sexually active and you will be met with a sneer.
You see, sex is mainly associated with reproduction, youth and attractiveness, and power. Most young and middle-aged people don’t want to face the inevitability of old age. There is a widespread assumption that old people should be asexual and the lack of conversation about sexual intimacy among the seniors continues to drive the misconceptions. Many people especially the younger generation think older people don’t have sex, leave alone enjoy it. Well, prepare to find out why this could be further from the truth.
Not strictly intercourse
Sex can actually get better with age if only people embrace the changes in their bodies. Growing old is not a dead end to sex- it could indeed be the start of a new adventure. One of the most significant barriers to having sex over 65 is the misconception that sex only means intercourse.
“There’s an idea that is real sex, and anything else is leading up to that goal,” says Joan Price, sex advocate and author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life. “If we redefine our notion of what sex is, we’re going to be happier and have more sex.”
According to her, sex is not all about penetration; it is something that gives you sexual pleasure, excitement, and sexual sensations. An erection may not be dependable at 65, the same way the vagina may not be comfortable at extended sexual intercourse. However, seniors can get pleasure through oral sex and more touching. Actually, you’ve been doing it your whole life as foreplay that leads up to the main event; now think of it as the sex, and you will see how seniors negotiate the murky waters of sex after 65.
Maintaining health is key
Sexual activity among seniors is not without its barriers, of course. A combination of decreased libido, physical challenges, and erectile dysfunction do take their toll, but there is a remedy; dietary intake. For penetrative intercourse to take place, you need blood to rush and swell the sexual organs for both men and women.
“Coaxing your arteries to perform at their peak will allow you to perform at yours and guarantee you better orgasms,” says cardiologist Dr. Joel Kahn.
The secret lies in cultivating good eating habits because the healthier arteries you have, the better they will be able to carry blood to crucial organs of the body.
Eating low fat and generally nutritious meals allows the cells to relax and ‘let the blood rush to all their precious parts,’ advises Dr. Khan. Avoiding heavily processed foods and items packed with animal fats could guarantee more buck in the bang for seniors.
Intimacy is ageless
We all know that the need for intimacy is ageless. Studies have established that sex can be enjoyed by all genders as long as possible. Granted, sex at 70 or 80 is nowhere similar to 20-30, but it can actually be better in some ways. As a senior, you are wiser, and you know what works for you and what doesn’t. You see, older people have more self-confidence, are more self-aware, and generally released from the unrealistic expectations of youth. Add that to grown children and less demanding work, and you will see why older folks have more time to relax and enjoy each other without the distractions of old.
Another important factor is as a senior, the things that brought you joy, namely, children and career may no longer be prevalent in your life. This means your relationship takes on a greater significance and we all know that sex is an essential way of connecting. Sex burns fat, causes the brain to release endorphins and can drastically reduce anxiety which makes it an attractive option for older folks.
Benefits of experience
Like earlier mentioned, sex as a senior is never the same as it was in your youth, but that’s not to say it’s a bad thing. Actually, it can be more enjoyable. As you grow older, you will start reaping the benefits of experience.
To start with, the confidence and independence of old age is always attractive to your partner. Secondly, you will feel better about your body at 62 more than you felt at 22. You know what makes you feel better and excited and the experience coupled with self-possession can make your sex life more exciting.
The best thing is to look ahead. As you age, you will find yourself letting go of expectations regarding your sex life. But if you enjoy an active sexual life in your youth, there is no reason to change that as a senior, unless you want to.
Ultimately, there is still so much sex to look forward to beyond age 65. People that age and older are having plenty of it, just not the way you imagine it with your young mind.